Want, Need or Just Plain Needy?

Do you need someone in your life? 

Or do you just want someone in your life? 

Can you do both?

How fine is that line between wanting and needing someone? 

I truly feel you can be healthy emotionally and still need someone. But if "needing" another is the key to happiness then I say the line has been crossed and you've fallen into neediness. 

I feel like needing someone is akin to Jerry Maguire's "you complete me" romantic soliloquy to Dorothy Boyd. The individual's love and peace are strong but together, with another, they are unbreakable.  

The want is the foundation for the need. It's the baseline and you build from there. 

Again though, like the need, if the want is superficially based, you've now fallen into wanting for the sake of having...which is very different from wanting and far more of a short-term proposition. 

Want and need...the stairsteps to a lifetime but a thin line for sure.  

 

Clear Eyes. Full Hearts. Can't Lose.

Yes, that's the mantra of Coach Eric Taylor and the Dillon Panthers on the TV show, "Friday Night Lights." It was their battle cry.  It was a staple in everything they stood for. It was their rally point. It brought the team together when it seemed like they were about to fall apart. 

It was just a TV show but art did imitate life when they painted a picture of what Friday Night Lights really does mean to a community. 

This past Friday night, we got to experience our one home Friday night football game during this Spring season.  Because the pandemic erased our fall season, our school (Oregon High School) put together an abbreviated Spring season to give these kids a chance to play. 

As I looked around at the parents and fans during our pre-game activities and during the game, I saw clear eyes and full hearts.  For three hours, the world seemed normal again. For three hours, time stopped and there was nothing else but a football game going on.  For three hours, we could all forget the troubles of the times and just cheer.  

That's what Friday Night Lights gives us all.  Players, fans, families, and friends.  We get to escape and experience the raw emotion of the night.  We get to feel alive again.  The smiles.  The tears. The wins and losses.   

"When I feel that chill, smell that fresh cut grass...I'm back in my helmet, cleats, and shoulder pads."

Friday Night Lights. 

Can't lose. 

Nice Guys Can Finish First

 A Firefighter. 

A Policeman. 

A Lawyer. 

An Architect. 

These are just some of the responses someone might have when asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?" 

These are all admirable professions and career callings. Professions that garner respect and appreciation. 

I'd like to advocate for another one...

A Nice Person. 

In a world where we have seemed to have lost our way sometimes, simply being nice can carry more weight than a badge, degree, or title.  

Saying pleasant things to someone, going out of your way to show your appreciation, or simply smiling more can become epidemic-like in its own way.  In a time when the term "contagious" has become part of our everyday vocabulary, being contagious in a positive way seems like a pretty novel idea. 

You can still chase that profession.  You can still aspire for that title.  You can still wear the badge.  But under it all, just be a nice person. 

It's that simple. 

Bring your Matches

 

I love candles. The love the illumination. I love the scent. I love the aura it brings. I have two reserved spots for my candles in my home.  One is on a bookshelf under my TV and the other is on my breakfast bar.  

When they are lit or dormant, they fill a hole in my home space.  Of course, when they are lit, that is when they glow...that is when they are most alive.  But even in their sleep, they provide beauty and potential good fortune.  

You almost don't want to light it for fear of losing it.  But you do.  You enjoy that light albeit temporary. 

It's the same when people who we are close to, leave our life (either by death or departure).  People who are in our life will not always have an alive spirit but just knowing they are there, makes a world of difference. When they are gone, they leave a hole.  

Candles can always be replaced with new ones but it's not the same. 

When people close to us leave, there will always be others around...but it's not the same.

Remember the brilliance.  Remember the warmth.  And keep striking the match.  

Burn baby, burn.  

PS; I Feel the same way about fireplaces.  

Everybody Takes Authorship

 

When my wife was in college, she was sitting in a class when she heard gasps from her fellow students. 

She looked up to see the professor bleeding from his head.  

He calmly removed a handkerchief from his pocket, dabbed the blood on his forehead, and matter-of-factly exclaimed, "we all have our stories" and proceeded to go back to teaching the class as if nothing had happened. 

We all have our stories. 

When they say you can't judge a book by its cover, they are so on target. 

We meander through life and bump into people everywhere.  Some stay awhile and some are just passing through but all have their stories.  All have their demons.  All have their challenges. All have their things that trigger their respective lizard brains. For lack of a better term, "all have their crosses to bear." 

Robin Williams once said, "everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always." 

It's that simple.  We are all authors of our own books.  

Understand that some of our pens either bleed ink or simply run out. 

But, they are all worth reading. 

One page at a time. 

 

  

Clean Your Hands First

 

“Who are you to judge the life I live?
I know I'm not perfect
-and I don't live to be-
but before you start pointing fingers...
make sure your hands are clean!”

Wise words from the great Bob Marley many years ago. 

Recently, I have encountered several instances of hypocrisy; those that affected me directly and those that affected those around me.  

We, as a society, are quick to point out the flaws of others but not as quick to look at the reflection in the mirror and point back. 

Don't be too quick to judge others when the jury is still out on you.

Want to borrow some Windex? 

SHAZAM!

Remember the 1970's Saturday morning live-action superhero show, Shazam!?

It was about a young boy named Billy Batson who somehow was granted superpowers and every time he yelled the word "SHAZAM," he was transformed into the superhero, Captain Marvel who had all of the powers from ancient Greek Gods.  

I was 6 at the time the show aired for the first time.  

You have to understand something before I go on, I was infatuated with superheroes and comic books growing up.  My dad took me to the comic book store every Saturday morning to buy a new comic book. A quarter a week (I still have several from when I was little). 

We lived on the 12th fairway of the Beloit Country Club and there was an empty sand trap that was the perfect place to go daydream.  I would run around the sand-less trap and then fall down and look up at the clouds.

Sidenote; that sand-less trap also happens to be where we spread my Dad's ashes upon his death.  

Every once in awhile I would look up at the cloud formations and yell the magical word just to see if anything would happen, "SHAZAM!"  And of course, nothing would ever happen except disappointment. 

As I look back at my life and realize that I am approaching the autumn of the year, I think about times in my life when I would've yelled SHAZAM! to change or alter the current situation.  Truthfully, there's only a few...less than a handful.  

Do yourself a favor and play the same game.  You will realize that when you look at the book of life, a super intervention only was needed a few times. 

Life can be pretty super on its own.  No capes needed.