Get Stoked

 

Love a real wood-burning fireplace. 

Doesn't matter the season.  Doesn't need a reason.  A wood-burning fire can light up your moments. 

The first spark is crucial but the spread of the flame is the heart of the burn.  Seeing one log light up after another. 

But to maintain the glow, you need to stoke the fire. 

True with a fireplace.  True with life. 

Whether it be your family.  Your friends. Your passions.  Your work. To keep the spark alive, to keep it growing...you need to stoke it. 

Here's the thing. It takes much more work to start the flame than it does to grow it.  It's the simple things in life that keep it burning.  A small gesture, a kind word, a pat on the back, a hug. They all add fuel to the flame. 

And without these, the flame eventually dies. 

So, grow the spark, feel the warmth, get stoked, and keep your life logs burning. 

Burn, baby, burn. 

Stew On It

 

Legacy. 

A word that carries a weight with it.  A blessing and a burden. 

What are you leaving behind? 

Not, what THINGS are you leaving behind?  That's what wills are for.  But, what part of you will live on?  What part will people remember?  

Recently, I have witnessed two separate legacy-defining situations.  One, I am sure will leave fond thoughts and memories, and the other, I am certain, will leave scars. 

The former has a sense of the greater good.  The realization that his story is but a chapter in a much larger book. The latter feels they are the page, chapter, and book (possibly even the library). 

It's wonderful seeing the right legacy happen around us.  It's a nightmare watching the opposite. 

One doesn't create the right legacy consciously.  The unconscious legacy is the outcome of the conscious steps taken. 

Your legacy is akin to a stew or goulash.  Countless ingredients make up the final recipe. Sometimes, just a dash of salt makes all the difference. 

What's on your legacy menu? 

Dinner is served. 

Lost Horizon

 

In the last season of "Mad Men," Don Draper finds himself in a conference room full of ad execs for McCann Erickson talking about Miller Beer.  

"The best box lunch around.  Should have your name on it." 

As Bill Phillips from Conley Research starts to paint the picture of their new Miller Lite drinker, Don looks wistfully off into the horizon and sees a plane lazily flying by. 

"What is his brand?" 

Don ponders that question for a moment, stands up, and walks out of the meeting without a word spoken. 

He's lost his brand. Lost horizon. 

We've all been in Don's shoes.  We step outside of ourselves and wonder "Who are we." 

We've all lost our horizons.  Some never find them again.  Some regain their footing and keep climbing. 

I experienced this recently.  Took me a while but I found it again...back on track. 

Sometimes we do need to lose our way just so we can find ourselves again. 

Here's the thing...our horizon moves.  It's fluid.  It's malleable. We need to join the dance and move with it.  

Change your camera view. Build a new perspective. Perspective is a wonderful panacea for a lost horizon. 

It's okay to sometimes feel lost. It's normal. 

Don't look at your life horizon like a box lunch...a cookie-cutter creation...one with your name on it.  Look at it like a buffet with many things to choose from to please the palette. One that you create. 

Lost...now found.  Again.  

Off Script

 

When Robert Downey Jr. went off script in "Iron Man" in 2008 with the immortal words "I am Iron Man," it changed the trajectory of the Marvel universe from that point forward.  It became an iconic part of the story, even up until the very end. 

Once again...art imitates life. 

There is no script to life.  It is the largest improv theatre you will ever see. 

You expect a right turn on the horizon and you go left.  You expect the roller coaster to turn back up but it plummets back down towards the earth.  You think it's your happily ever after moment but then a sequel appears. 

Off script. 

It's similar to the scene in "Pleasantville" when Tobey Maguire tells Jane Kaczmarek, "There is no right house.  There is no right car...it's not supposed to be anything." 

Life isn't supposed to be anything.  It just is.  Life isn't supposed to be lived on script.  It just happens.

You can't stage your life...but your life is a stage. 

Action. 

Random Red Thoughts

"...random thoughts, an overflow of gazing at the unseen." 

Love that quote from Michael Bassey Johnson, a brilliant writer and poet. 

Random thoughts give you permission to daydream a bit.  Experience a Walter Mitty moment every once in a while. Just gaze at the unseen and see what happens. 

I tip my glass in the direction of randomness.  

A good bartender is just as valuable as a good doctor or lawyer. 

Sometimes, you just need to go and have sex with your wife in a hotel. 

I am envious of people born on February 29th but feel bad for those who lost someone on that same day. 

February really is a long month despite the actual number of days. 

Sunrise or sunset?  I can't choose. 

You are never too old to hug. 

Everyone should have five go-to restaurants; Italian, Bar-be-que, Hole in the Wall, Steak joint, and Mexican. 

It really does feel good being nice. 

There is no better bite than the first bite of buttered toast dipped into the yoke of a sunny-side-up egg. 

Light a fire in a real fireplace...often. 

I don't want to live past 90. 

Stemmed wine glasses for dinner.  Stem-less for lunch or happy hour. 

Cheers to randomness. 

'Clink'

Life at an Unsquared 90 Degrees

 

My wife and I went to see famed jazz trumpeter, Wayne Bergeron the other night.  It was wild and beautiful.  As we were getting into the syncopated beat and delighted by the range of his magical trumpet, we asked ourselves if our architect friend, Dave would be into jazz. We thought "There's no way someone with an exact mind would be into the un-exactedness of jazz."

Remember...close enough for jazz. 

But then we remembered, Dave was totally into Dave Brubeck. 

Brubeck...the father of cool jazz; the unlikely matrimony of bebop and big band combining frenetic chaos with silky smooth undertones.  Brubeck's music had a random exactness to it. Coordinated spontaneity. 

The Unsquare dance.  A delightful morsel of his music, which combined blues, jazz, and country western, was edgy, cool, and undefined.  But there were precise corners to the piece too. 

As my wife and I broke down our evening, we started talking about our friend again and realized his delicate balance of structure and bedlam was a microcosm of life. 

Life has wide bumpers, baby, and use every inch of them.  Draw outside the lines and not off the paper. Be adventurous and humble.  Ride the teeter-totter between falling off and balance. Experience everything life has to offer and be selective. 

Life is jazz.  Fun, unexpected, and crazy, with notes to live by. 

"Jazz is about freedom within discipline." 

Jazz and life.  It's a gas. 

Dig it?  

Random Thoughts from the Road

As the ice melts and the wick burns...

Randomness rules. 

Tobacco candles are sublime...especially in hotel rooms. 

As a middle infielder, you need to trust your first baseman...unless he sleeps with your wife. 

There is still nothing quite like turning the pages of a real book. 

There's no better brotherhood than a tight-knit coaching staff. 

Basil Hayden is delicious. 

Those who are critical of talent that executes "dog and pony" flawlessly don't know a dog's ass from a pony's. 

Quarterbacks and Tight Ends...the linchpins of a successful offense. 

M*A*S*H was brilliant. 

Lust is better when married to love. 

Enjoy every sunset and sunrise you can. 

Spooning is a lost art. 

Dave Brubeck is still cool. 

And...

Those who are truly wealthy, don't show their wallet.  Those who are truly smart, think quietly.  

I'll take another...

...just put it on my tab. 

Let's Just Call it a Ghost Cat

 

Walter Mitty:  When are you going to take it? 

Sean O'Connell: Sometimes I don't.  If I like a moment, for me, personally, I don't like to have the distraction of the camera.  I just want to stay in it. 

Walter Mitty:  Stay in it? 

Sean O'Connell:  Yeah.  Right there.  Right here. 

This is the exchange between Ben Stiller's character, Walter Mitty, and Sean Penn's character, Sean O'Connell in The Secret Life of Walter Mitty where O'Connell is a world-renowned photographer and Mitty is a Negative Assets Manager at Life Magazine. O'Connell passes on capturing a picture of a beautiful Snow Leopard in favor of capturing the moment. 

We all are guilty of missing the moment sometimes.  We drift away from the moment because of the past.  We dream away the moment because of the future.  Our commitment to the moment is destroyed because of some other distraction and it's lost forever. 

Alan Watts, an English writer, speaker, and self-styled "philosophical entertainer" said it best, "I have realized that the past and the future are real illusions, that they exist in the present, which is what there is and all there is." 

The Pike Place Fish Market was the impetus for The Fish Philosophy, training that inspires workplaces and individuals to choose to create the kind of life they desire.  One of their pillars is to "Be there."  Be emotionally present for people in the moment. 

Enjoying the moment.  Living the moment.  Savoring the moment as you would your last bite of your favorite meal. This is the key to life. 

Put down the phone. Stop over-thinking the past and hopelessly waiting for the future.  And just be right there. 

Right here. 

I Resolve

 

It's January 3rd.  I've yet to make a New Year's Resolution. 

It's tradition, right?  You can already see the weight loss, cottage cheese, and Pelaton ads screaming at you letting you know "This is the year." 

Here's the thing...

Your resolution should not be an annual ritual that comes around every 365 days.  It should be a monthly resolution...a weekly resolution...a daily resolution (Hell, make it an hourly resolution if you can). 

Wake up and resolve. 

I resolve...to be "there" more.  To stay in the moment. 

I resolve...to read more.  To feel the pages in my hands and absorb the fiction and non. 

I resolve...to get back into Yoga. It's a wonderful physical and mental stretch. 

I resolve...to tell people I love them more. 

I resolve...to try to not worry about making moments 'perfect.' 

I resolve...to drink more water. 

I resolve...to eliminate debt.

I resolve...to walk more. 

I resolve...to learn from the past, but not live in it. 

I resolve...to forgive (maybe, not forget). 

I resolve...to exhale. 

I resolve...

...to continue to try to resolve.