Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Stuck on Idle
The other night I was standing at a bar waiting for a drink and I overheard the conversation next to me.
It was obvious to me, the bartender and everyone else around what this dynamic was all about.
It was either a first date or a bar attempt by the male species to "get to know" the young lady better.
It was going nowhere fast.
He would say something. She would politely disagree or refute his position on the topic and then he would try to backtrack and force agreement, chemistry and hope for some sort of sign of the ice thawing.
Throw me a bone here.
So if it were obvious to us bystanders, was it obvious to the participants as well.
No matter what relationship you are working on. Romantic. Platonic. Business. Casual. The communication connection points are key. You have to give up a little...but take in a lot. You have to pull them into your conversation. You have to find the tipping point where you take it from idle chit chat to engagement.
You also have to know when to throw in the towel. When it's just not going to happen. Idle chit chat...is a waste of time. You want to move it from neutral to either forward or reverse because if you idle long enough, you will simply run out of gas and then you really are going nowhere.
Look...even without the conversation (if you want to call it that)...one would probably bet against the pairing at the bar the other night but if he would've been able to engage...it might have gotten interesting. You still would've asked..."how did he end up with her" but true communication connection points of engagement can break down traditional perceived barriers.
Throw an ice cube in a glass of single malt and watch how fast it melts. Now, that is some serious engagement.