It's the Yeast you can do

'Tis the season, right?

A time for present giving. A time for holiday cheer. A time for family.

Also a time for stupidity, small-mindedness, conflict and pettiness.


Recently, I have had an unusual string of episodes of the latter.

I get it. The holidays are a wonderful time but they can be filled with stress as well. Time constraints. Money restraints. The end of the year feeling where you realize you will fall short of many of things you wanted to accomplish during the year. The sad memories of people you may have lost. It's a mixed recipe for sure.

I have three ingredients to add to the mix to make it rise.

Perspective - Doesn't matter the situation, when you remove yourself from the eye of the storm and look at the players involved from an outside in point of view, a greater understanding happens.

Appreciation - When you have a true realization of what you have and where you are, the true triviality of the conflict usually comes to bear.

Music - This year, I have found an unusually high percentage of times where simply listening to the right song at the right time removes me from the shallow waters of the situation. I am talking cranking it to 11 and belting out the notes (whether in private or public) no matter how imperfect the pitch.

The recipe for making bread rise is simple for sure. The recipe for making life rise is just as simple.

Breaking bread. Making life.

It's the yeast you CAN do.

PS; I find it interesting that when I started writing this piece, I was in a bad mood. I took my own advice. Time to make some more bread.

I Dare You

You cringe when you think of it.

You grimace when someone acts that way towards you.

Your immediate reaction is an expletive followed by a pronoun and you spend the next hour reminding everyone that can hear your inner voice all of the good things you have done in the past.

"What have you done for me lately?"

It's happened to us all and we've done it to others. It will happen again. I promise.

Here's the deal...it's not a bad thing.

"What have you done for me lately" gives us perspective. It keeps us from living in the past (but still learning). It motivates us. It helps us not take people or things for granted.

"I'll show them." Sound familiar? If your pilot light is on, you will respond accordingly.

Thank you Robert Conrad. Most of us function well with that chip (or in Conrad's case; a battery) on our shoulder.

I get it. It does sting a little because when you do something right the previous 99 times and you failed on the 100th, it doesn't seem fair that everyone remembers the last one but that's just the way it is.

Start another streak. Go ahead and show them.

Go ahead and knock that battery off. I dare you.

Football, coaching and life.

I always loved football.


I played in the backyard for hours at a time. I would stand at one end of the yard and throw passes to the other end of the yard trying to hit it in a trash can. My dad played catch all the time. I went to pro and college games from the time I was old enough to walk. I couldn't get enough of it (still feel the same).

I was also a bad asthmatic and not in the best shape. Matter of fact, mom would always have to shop for me in the "husky" section of the store.


But I still had dreams of playing football.

When I got to high school, I was ready to roll. The next best tight end. That was me. Then reality hit. There just isn't a lot of slow 5'6" 165 pound tight ends out there. I wasn't playing. I wasn't having fun. Dreams shattered.

One night, I decided to just skip practice and walk to my grandparents' house. Of course, my dad found out. He wasn't mad but he did insist that I shouldn't just quit. I made a commitment and I had to stick to it.

I went back to practice and apologized to the coach but my future in football was very much in question.

A few weeks later, a letter came in the mail. It was from a friend of my Dad who coached high school football. That letter changed my life forever and rekindled my love and desire to play this game.

"Ask yourself...is it all worth it? I assure you that it is. Of course, we are all frightened of the unknown...you will worry about how you are doing and what people are thinking about your performance. You can not go wrong when you give your best and let the chips fall where they may.

When you awake in the morning and you can tell the guy looking back at you in the mirror that you've given it your best shot, then that Joey, is self satisfaction. And when you are satisfied that you've given your best effort you don't care what other people say or think.

It's not important if you are first string or not, what is important is that football becomes a fun and worthwhile experience for you.

I always told my players that once you start something, see it through to the finish. Quitting becomes a habit. It's very difficult to quit something the first time but the more you do it, the easier it becomes to be a quitter.

I hope some of my thoughts on playing football will help you over the rough spots and erase some of the apprehension you might have about this wonderful sport."

I not only finished my freshman year but with the help of puberty and hard work, I became a three year varsity letter winner with all conference consideration. I am about ready to coach my 125th game for my boys and the fire I have for the sport burns brighter than ever.

Here's the thing though...that letter wasn't just about football but about everything in life. It gave me things for the game of football but more importantly, it gave me things for the game of life.

Football. Life. One's a small part of the other but the lessons in the huddle can last a lifetime.

Down. Set. Hut.

The Good Stuff is Always on the Top Shelf

Recently, I was talking to someone about whether or not a mutual friend was excited about a big life move.  She responded with "no, you know how Jim is...doesn't want to set the bar too high because he doesn't want to be disappointed if things go south." 

I honestly am still shaking my head every time those words rattle around my brain. 

"Doesn't want to set the bar too high." 

What the hell kind of way is that to live life?!

Life is all about skyrocketing as high as you can and all the while knowing your fall back to earth will not end with a soft landing.  Life is all about riding the roller coaster to the top and then having your stomach get caught up in your throat on the way back down.  Life is all about winning that championship and knowing that you have a bullseye on your back the next season.

Life is all about the ride up and the ride down.

My wife's favorite line is always "things really do work out for me."  What she doesn't add to that is that she knows she skins her knees along the way up the mountain to get to the top. 

It's because she sets the bar high.

Shoot for the moon.  The only time you should lower the bar is when your barstools are too short.

Essence of Kelly

The Essence of Grace is every step one takes is a dance onto itself.

The Essence of Beauty is an inner light and outward light that radiates into the darkest corners.

The Essence of Love is the unequivocal opening up of a true heart to all.

The Essence of Care is the unselfish act of always giving without expecting it returned.

The Essence of Fun is when a smile and a laugh can wipe away the hurt and the tears.

The Essence of Spirit is the inner pilot light that always is lit.

All are the Essence of our precious Kelly.

Daughter. Mother. Wife. Sister. Aunt. Friend.


We will always love you. Forever.

Flashpoint In Real Life

Transitions. Changeovers.

Passages. Alterations.

They happen all of the time in life.




Most of the time we aren't even aware or cognizant of them.

When you become aware in the moment, it's a powerful thing.

Last night, it happened to me. At a business event with both the past and future present. Past co-workers, teammates, people I trained, mentors. People with whom I commiserated the losses and celebrated the wins. Some will stay in my life. Some won't. I started there.

Then...onto the future. New co-workers, new teammates, new people I will train. Wins, losses, toasts, hugs and handshakes. Maybe even a shoulder. All new.

For a moment, I was frozen between the two. Then it was time to move forward.

When you are conscious and in the moment and realize the transition point, you are able to remove yourself from the scene. You process the feelings and emotions of the people in your life; both past and future. You become aware of your hindsight and your foresight all at once. The past experience becomes the training ground for the future.

It's a cool moment because you are in the moment.

I am a huge superhero geek so I will draw the analogy. It's like when Flash travels back in time and sees another version of himself. He sees who he was and connects the dots to who he is.

And...scene.

How Deep is the Cut?

Did you ever get cut? Not the physical kind where a well placed band-aid can save the day. Not insulted upon or ripped on either. I am talking about trying out for the team and not making the final roster (and please, getting fired doesn't count).

It sucks.

You put in months, maybe even years of work and it was all of naught (not really).

They had to draw an imaginary line somewhere. "We can only keep 12 kids." In this case, 13 really is an unlucky number. What separates 12 and 13? Probably not a lot. Maybe one kid can hit a little better. Maybe another can field a little better. Maybe it's a team chemistry thing. Whatever it is, it creates that line of separation.

Would you rather be the first or the last one cut? Both hurt...but for different reasons. Both can be motivating and demotivating at the same time.

There is no debating. It does suck...for awhile. But after awhile, you move on and build perspective.

It's happened to me. It's happened to my kids. It's probably happened to us all at some point or to some degree.

One of two things usually happens; either you work harder to make the team next year or you find something else to do.

It's one of those life lessons that you don't realize until you look at the situation in the rear view mirror.

It stings for a bit but it becomes the Bactine of life.

There. All better.

Lights. Camera. Action.

Ever been in a competitive race?

Doesn't matter the level. Whether you are competing for the winning gold or a handmade ribbon from your first grade teacher, there is one constant; nothing happens until someone shouts 'go!' Ready and set just put you in the right place. The word 'go' gives you the freedom to run.

Ever fire a gun? Again, nothing happens until the word 'fire.' Ready and aim just give you the target to shoot for.

I am not here to trivialize the act of putting you in the right place to run the race or setting up the target before you shoot but there are so many people in life who stall at the first two parts. They don't take the next step; action.

Recently, I have had several personal and professional experiences where action was required. It had been brainstormed, strategized, dreamt up, mapped out, visualized, blueprinted, whiteboarded, slept on, bar-napkined, drank over, simulated, and lost sleep over to death. It was time to actually put the plan in place.

Too many people get caught up in setting the table. Not enough people actually dine.

Start the race. Shoot the gun. Eat (or as my Dad used to say in Italian; MANGIA)!

Look...with no action, you either get cramps from being in the set position too long or you become blinded from the lights.

Just go already!