Life; It's Shaken. Not Stirred.

Reflections. 

Reserved. 

Sitting in a local Michigan establishment that I frequented over 10 years ago. 

Checking the rearview mirror and the blind spots. Soaking in the hour which is happiest.  Taking a peek at the telescope. 

Random thoughts...

Hotel Rooms. I like them. Uncommonly comfortable. 

Growth.  Personal. Love seeing it (except my weight). 

Coaching.  A true program makes a true difference. 

Regret.  It's there, but it can't dominate.  Learn. 

Memories.  Keep them in high res, but keep them in the past. 

Humans.  We all need to connect.  We all need to talk.  Do it. 

Loss.  All have it, but all is not lost. 

Gratitude.  Abundance. 

My Wife.  The tallest. The smartest. The sexiest. 

My Kids.  Unique, and always amazing. Love. 

Sunsets/Rises.  So damn beautiful.  Watch every one. 

Football.  Best sport. Ever. 

Perspective. The teeter-totter of life. 

Shaken, not stirred. 

Check, please. 

The Smart of a Woman

 "Hoo-ah!" 

Admit it. 

You all immediately transported and became Lieutenant Colonel Frank Slade when you read that. 

It's not even a real word but you knew what it meant.  

"If you get all tangled up, just tango on. Scent is such a powerful tool of attraction, that if a woman has this tool perfectly tuned, she needs no other.  I will forgive her for a large nose, a cleft lip, even crossed eyes; and I'll bathe in the jouissance of her intoxicating odour." 

Lt. Colonel Slade nailed it but lest we forget the 'smart of a woman' as well. 

Smart is sexy.

Period. End of discussion. 

If you are lucky enough to have a smart woman in your life, embrace it, listen to her, and shower in her beautiful wisdom. 

We all can be blind sometimes but still try and see. 

"Hoo-ah" 

I'm Listening...

 

"I'm listening..." 

The immortal words of Dr. Frasier Crane. 

Spoken to hundreds if not thousands of faceless patients on the good Doctor's radio show. 

Even though Frasier's advice was most often not recommended by the American Psychiatric Association, he was still there for most. 

Several people I know see a counselor or therapist on a regular basis.  

I have in the past on a situational basis and I found it a healthy way to process. 

We all need human connections.  We all need conversation.  We all need a little help sometimes. 

Damn the societal stigmas. Reach out. 

Tossed salads and scrambled eggs...

all over the place. 

Max

 A reason, season, or lifetime. 

That's the old axiom about people who come into your life. 

Some come in for a reason.  Some for a season.  And, some last a lifetime. 

For me, Max (far left) was a reason.  I am sure it would've been a lifetime but Max's life ended way too soon. 

Max and I met via radio.  He was an on-air personality at the local country station and I was starting a sports station. 

Max needed a change from being "talent" so he transitioned over to the sports station with me. 

We became partners in crime. 

He passed away of cancer at the age of 41. 

For several reasons, I think of him often.

• His three rules of life... 
•     There's not enough free food in the world. 
•     People suck. 
•     Everything comes in threes. 
• His drink of choice...
•     Rolling Rock with three olives. 

But most importantly, it was the lesson I learned when I last visited him in the hospital mere days before he passed. He stared out the window and without spoken words, I felt what he was feeling.  

I won't dive into it because that's between me and Max, but to summarize...

Life is short so enjoy it to the fullest and for F--k's sake, don't ever settle for less. 

"I'll take a Rolling Rock...

...with three olives please." 

Cheers. 

24

 

Sorry to disappoint the Kiefer Sutherland fans (not a fan per se but I do appreciate his work), but this episode of 'the Cosmos' has nothing to do with the scintillating action series with the same numerical title. 

It has to do with a random goal, motivation, and finding your arc. 

24 is just simple math. 

12 months. 

2 blogs a month. 

= 24. 

That's my arbitrary goal for writing now. 24 blogs a year. 

This morning, I woke up not knowing where the hell number 24 was going to come from this time around. I found it here...

Season 4, Episode 8. 'The Summer Man' Mad Men. 

Don finds himself (after losing himself in bottles and vaginas), and reinvents. 

Can't start over, but you can write the next chapter. 

This episode is a critical step in Don's life arc. 

And introducing...

Character arcs. 

Every character, every person...

Fiction or non. 

Goes through a character arc. 

In its most simplistic terms, a character arc goes through this cycle; 

• Defined. 
• Conundrum. 
• Direction. 
• Re-defined. 

For example, Mr. Incredible's character arc...

He's A Super Hero and alone. 

He's no longer a Super Hero. 

He needs a team. 

He's a Super Hero again, but now, part of a team. 

To close...

1.) Set realistic goals. Sometimes you have to push through to accomplish them. But, sometimes, you need to walk away from them to seal the deal. 

2.) Reinvent, and do what helps you do that. 

3.) We all have many character arcs. Can't pass go until you pay your dues. 

In the next 365...

Set Goals. 

Reinvent. 

Follow your Arc. 

And, I almost forgot...

Happy New Year! 

The Gift of Forgiveness

 

Several years ago, I had the pleasure of meeting and working with Dr. Robert Enright. 

"Dr. Bob, as he was affectionately called, founded the International Forgiveness Institute. He studied the psychology behind forgiveness. Making it more of a science than an art. 

To understand forgiveness, one must understand what forgiveness is not. 

• Forgiveness does not mean you've forgotten the injustice. 
• Forgiveness does not mean you condone the wrongdoing. 
• Forgiveness does not mean you get revenge. 

Forgiveness is a gift. It's love.  It's generosity.  It's mercy. 

As we give this gift, we heal.  

Holding a grudge acts like a tourniquet to the flow of healing. It closes the heart and the wounds remain open. 

Real forgiveness takes strength. It takes courage. It takes honesty. It takes time. 

But it's worth it.  

So very much. 

 

Alone Again...Naturally

 

Today, I am not going to wax poetic about Gilbert O'Sullivan's iconic tune (although, I could write for days why the Michael Buble/Diana Krall version is much better). I am, instead going to go in a more soulful direction. 

Robin Williams once said, "I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone." 

I truly believe this. 

Being alone with yourself can be cathartic. It gives you time to reflect. To think. To ponder. To wonder. It settles the mind and slows your heartbeat.  Yes, you could also over-reflect or overthink when you are left to yourself but I truly believe it's needed time. 

Being with someone who makes you feel alone is a totally different undertaking. It feeds the beast that is your doubt. It spoils your lizard brain. It second-guesses. It hurts. 

If you are with someone who brings this ingredient into your life stew, move on.  

Life is too short to be with another, but alone again...

...naturally.