Just Do It

To own or to have something is important.

To do things is more important.

I have owned plenty over the years. Brand new, big houses. Brand new, big cars. Brand new clothing. Brand new things. You know what though? They are all gone for the most part. Sold. Moved. Moved on. Not at all sad about that. Don't get me wrong, I did enjoy those things but at the end of the day, the things are fleeting moments in time. Temporary placeholders for the experiences and the people in my life. The hard cover that houses the pages of your favorite book. The music apparatus where your favorite song lives. The screen where you saw that one movie you always go back to. It's not what this is about.

Over the last several years, I have downsized into a much smaller house. A much smaller car. Stopped going out and buying things and started going out and doing things.

I have traveled to places I have never imagined going to. I have seen things I never could have dreamt of. I have experienced things I will never forget.

Downsized so I can experience life's upside.

To do really is to be. Just do it!

PS; The picture is my wife and I hanging out at the waterfalls of Iceland.

Good Grief

Everyone remembers good ol' Charlie Brown right? The lovable loser who loved his dog and his friends unconditionally. When things went bad for CB (and that was often), he would exclaim the words "good grief" in frustration (ARRRRGH was also a popular one from Chuck back in the day as well but that's for another blog).

Last year, I lost my sister. She was one of my best friends. I have been grieving ever since. It's coming up on the one year anniversary and my mom reached out to see what I wanted to do for it. I thought about it and came to the conclusion that I wanted to have fun on that day with people I love. I wanted to laugh. I wanted to hear song. I want to live even more on that day alone. My mom on the other hand wants a quiet day of reflection.

See, the two of us have been grieving for almost a year and we couldn't have been more polarizing on our means of dealing with the loss. Neither is right or wrong. It just is.

Good grief is different for us all. What's good for me or you, may not be good for another. The key is to grieve in your own way. It's a part of the process and a key step towards healing and closure.

It's taking me a long time to realize I can't change my mom or anyone else for that matter in this regard. I can listen. I can appreciate. I can be there. But, I can't take away the pain by imposing my vision of grieving.

Good grief? It's all relative.

Thanks Chuck!

(And, this little piece of unsolicited advice didn't even cost you the 5 cents Lucy charges)

Enough Already!

None of us like to give up.

We are taught from an early age that 'quitters never win and winners never quit.'

It's probably the most known axiom of all time.

It's also the one that probably speaks half truth a lot of the time.



(That extra space allows you time to pause to let that last line sink in)

You see, there is a difference between 'giving up' and 'had enough.'

There are definitive situations where the pain or risk of keeping something going outweighs the reward of actually accomplishing the goal.

I can't remember one Disney movie or Hallmark special where the protagonist gives up. Imagine Simba just deciding Hakuna Matata was really the way to go and that was the end of the story. Imagine the 1980 USA hockey team actually giving up against the Russians and settling for a bronze medal.

But, it does happen in real life and it's okay. You have to be aware of when enough is enough. Does the freedom from the burden overrule the outcome?

I am not advocating just giving up whenever but I am saying weigh the endgame when considering your options.

Throwing in the towel might just be better than crying in your towel.

Enough is enough.

It's the Yeast you can do

'Tis the season, right?

A time for present giving. A time for holiday cheer. A time for family.

Also a time for stupidity, small-mindedness, conflict and pettiness.


Recently, I have had an unusual string of episodes of the latter.

I get it. The holidays are a wonderful time but they can be filled with stress as well. Time constraints. Money restraints. The end of the year feeling where you realize you will fall short of many of things you wanted to accomplish during the year. The sad memories of people you may have lost. It's a mixed recipe for sure.

I have three ingredients to add to the mix to make it rise.

Perspective - Doesn't matter the situation, when you remove yourself from the eye of the storm and look at the players involved from an outside in point of view, a greater understanding happens.

Appreciation - When you have a true realization of what you have and where you are, the true triviality of the conflict usually comes to bear.

Music - This year, I have found an unusually high percentage of times where simply listening to the right song at the right time removes me from the shallow waters of the situation. I am talking cranking it to 11 and belting out the notes (whether in private or public) no matter how imperfect the pitch.

The recipe for making bread rise is simple for sure. The recipe for making life rise is just as simple.

Breaking bread. Making life.

It's the yeast you CAN do.

PS; I find it interesting that when I started writing this piece, I was in a bad mood. I took my own advice. Time to make some more bread.

I Dare You

You cringe when you think of it.

You grimace when someone acts that way towards you.

Your immediate reaction is an expletive followed by a pronoun and you spend the next hour reminding everyone that can hear your inner voice all of the good things you have done in the past.

"What have you done for me lately?"

It's happened to us all and we've done it to others. It will happen again. I promise.

Here's the deal...it's not a bad thing.

"What have you done for me lately" gives us perspective. It keeps us from living in the past (but still learning). It motivates us. It helps us not take people or things for granted.

"I'll show them." Sound familiar? If your pilot light is on, you will respond accordingly.

Thank you Robert Conrad. Most of us function well with that chip (or in Conrad's case; a battery) on our shoulder.

I get it. It does sting a little because when you do something right the previous 99 times and you failed on the 100th, it doesn't seem fair that everyone remembers the last one but that's just the way it is.

Start another streak. Go ahead and show them.

Go ahead and knock that battery off. I dare you.

Football, coaching and life.

I always loved football.


I played in the backyard for hours at a time. I would stand at one end of the yard and throw passes to the other end of the yard trying to hit it in a trash can. My dad played catch all the time. I went to pro and college games from the time I was old enough to walk. I couldn't get enough of it (still feel the same).

I was also a bad asthmatic and not in the best shape. Matter of fact, mom would always have to shop for me in the "husky" section of the store.


But I still had dreams of playing football.

When I got to high school, I was ready to roll. The next best tight end. That was me. Then reality hit. There just isn't a lot of slow 5'6" 165 pound tight ends out there. I wasn't playing. I wasn't having fun. Dreams shattered.

One night, I decided to just skip practice and walk to my grandparents' house. Of course, my dad found out. He wasn't mad but he did insist that I shouldn't just quit. I made a commitment and I had to stick to it.

I went back to practice and apologized to the coach but my future in football was very much in question.

A few weeks later, a letter came in the mail. It was from a friend of my Dad who coached high school football. That letter changed my life forever and rekindled my love and desire to play this game.

"Ask yourself...is it all worth it? I assure you that it is. Of course, we are all frightened of the unknown...you will worry about how you are doing and what people are thinking about your performance. You can not go wrong when you give your best and let the chips fall where they may.

When you awake in the morning and you can tell the guy looking back at you in the mirror that you've given it your best shot, then that Joey, is self satisfaction. And when you are satisfied that you've given your best effort you don't care what other people say or think.

It's not important if you are first string or not, what is important is that football becomes a fun and worthwhile experience for you.

I always told my players that once you start something, see it through to the finish. Quitting becomes a habit. It's very difficult to quit something the first time but the more you do it, the easier it becomes to be a quitter.

I hope some of my thoughts on playing football will help you over the rough spots and erase some of the apprehension you might have about this wonderful sport."

I not only finished my freshman year but with the help of puberty and hard work, I became a three year varsity letter winner with all conference consideration. I am about ready to coach my 125th game for my boys and the fire I have for the sport burns brighter than ever.

Here's the thing though...that letter wasn't just about football but about everything in life. It gave me things for the game of football but more importantly, it gave me things for the game of life.

Football. Life. One's a small part of the other but the lessons in the huddle can last a lifetime.

Down. Set. Hut.

The Good Stuff is Always on the Top Shelf

Recently, I was talking to someone about whether or not a mutual friend was excited about a big life move.  She responded with "no, you know how Jim is...doesn't want to set the bar too high because he doesn't want to be disappointed if things go south." 

I honestly am still shaking my head every time those words rattle around my brain. 

"Doesn't want to set the bar too high." 

What the hell kind of way is that to live life?!

Life is all about skyrocketing as high as you can and all the while knowing your fall back to earth will not end with a soft landing.  Life is all about riding the roller coaster to the top and then having your stomach get caught up in your throat on the way back down.  Life is all about winning that championship and knowing that you have a bullseye on your back the next season.

Life is all about the ride up and the ride down.

My wife's favorite line is always "things really do work out for me."  What she doesn't add to that is that she knows she skins her knees along the way up the mountain to get to the top. 

It's because she sets the bar high.

Shoot for the moon.  The only time you should lower the bar is when your barstools are too short.