Randomness Rules

Recently, a coaching friend had a health scare.  Looks like he will pull through and heed his wake-up call.  Listen when your body tells you something and don't take it for granted. 

Finding your career after college is a fallacy.  Find a job you like and see where it takes you. 

Heartbreak sucks.  Young heartbreak sucks even more (pets make fantastic Sherpas helping to mend the break though). 

Don't let a fixer-upper be a downer. Embrace it. 

Repair and reconnect whenever you can. 

Embrace storms. Both meteorological and metaphorical. Haruki Murakami said it most eloquently and simply, "When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person who walked in." 

Great coaches reach players and other coaches alike. 

Paul Giamatti is brilliant.  One of the most underrated actors of our time. 

The simple beauty of Iceland is truly the pinnacle to strive for.

A good beard balm is a great elixir for the skin. 

PS;  The image is from the Geiri Smart Restaurant in Reykjavik. Every once in a while, you need to throw a good, old fashioned soiree. 

Beard balm and candles 

The Greatest Pain

It's a pain like no other. 

The deepest cut, the largest bruise, and the most damaging diagnosis can't match this trauma. 

It travels directly to the core of your very being. 

Seeing your child hurt is by far, the greatest pain of all. 

You go through your life as a parent doing everything in your power to protect them from this pain but you know deep down, you will inevitably fail. You try, and you try to protect them from danger, but alas, it is a futile attempt to shield them completely. The point pierces skin eventually. 

"If only..."

You mutter those infamous words of regret, thinking you could've prevented the hurt.  You swear you saw this coming and if only...if only...you would've done something differently, you could've deflected it with your shelter. 

There is no "if only." There is only "what is."  And you will eventually see your child hurt in the human world of "what is."

Provide the ethereal human Bactine of listening... hugs...and advice if you can and time will eventually heal. 

It is that pang you feel when they feel the pain. 

Be there. Really be there. It's the only antidote for them.  

And you. 

 

Get Stoked

 

Love a real wood-burning fireplace. 

Doesn't matter the season.  Doesn't need a reason.  A wood-burning fire can light up your moments. 

The first spark is crucial but the spread of the flame is the heart of the burn.  Seeing one log light up after another. 

But to maintain the glow, you need to stoke the fire. 

True with a fireplace.  True with life. 

Whether it be your family.  Your friends. Your passions.  Your work. To keep the spark alive, to keep it growing...you need to stoke it. 

Here's the thing. It takes much more work to start the flame than it does to grow it.  It's the simple things in life that keep it burning.  A small gesture, a kind word, a pat on the back, a hug. They all add fuel to the flame. 

And without these, the flame eventually dies. 

So, grow the spark, feel the warmth, get stoked, and keep your life logs burning. 

Burn, baby, burn. 

Stew On It

 

Legacy. 

A word that carries a weight with it.  A blessing and a burden. 

What are you leaving behind? 

Not, what THINGS are you leaving behind?  That's what wills are for.  But, what part of you will live on?  What part will people remember?  

Recently, I have witnessed two separate legacy-defining situations.  One, I am sure will leave fond thoughts and memories, and the other, I am certain, will leave scars. 

The former has a sense of the greater good.  The realization that his story is but a chapter in a much larger book. The latter feels they are the page, chapter, and book (possibly even the library). 

It's wonderful seeing the right legacy happen around us.  It's a nightmare watching the opposite. 

One doesn't create the right legacy consciously.  The unconscious legacy is the outcome of the conscious steps taken. 

Your legacy is akin to a stew or goulash.  Countless ingredients make up the final recipe. Sometimes, just a dash of salt makes all the difference. 

What's on your legacy menu? 

Dinner is served. 

Lost Horizon

 

In the last season of "Mad Men," Don Draper finds himself in a conference room full of ad execs for McCann Erickson talking about Miller Beer.  

"The best box lunch around.  Should have your name on it." 

As Bill Phillips from Conley Research starts to paint the picture of their new Miller Lite drinker, Don looks wistfully off into the horizon and sees a plane lazily flying by. 

"What is his brand?" 

Don ponders that question for a moment, stands up, and walks out of the meeting without a word spoken. 

He's lost his brand. Lost horizon. 

We've all been in Don's shoes.  We step outside of ourselves and wonder "Who are we." 

We've all lost our horizons.  Some never find them again.  Some regain their footing and keep climbing. 

I experienced this recently.  Took me a while but I found it again...back on track. 

Sometimes we do need to lose our way just so we can find ourselves again. 

Here's the thing...our horizon moves.  It's fluid.  It's malleable. We need to join the dance and move with it.  

Change your camera view. Build a new perspective. Perspective is a wonderful panacea for a lost horizon. 

It's okay to sometimes feel lost. It's normal. 

Don't look at your life horizon like a box lunch...a cookie-cutter creation...one with your name on it.  Look at it like a buffet with many things to choose from to please the palette. One that you create. 

Lost...now found.  Again.  

Off Script

 

When Robert Downey Jr. went off script in "Iron Man" in 2008 with the immortal words "I am Iron Man," it changed the trajectory of the Marvel universe from that point forward.  It became an iconic part of the story, even up until the very end. 

Once again...art imitates life. 

There is no script to life.  It is the largest improv theatre you will ever see. 

You expect a right turn on the horizon and you go left.  You expect the roller coaster to turn back up but it plummets back down towards the earth.  You think it's your happily ever after moment but then a sequel appears. 

Off script. 

It's similar to the scene in "Pleasantville" when Tobey Maguire tells Jane Kaczmarek, "There is no right house.  There is no right car...it's not supposed to be anything." 

Life isn't supposed to be anything.  It just is.  Life isn't supposed to be lived on script.  It just happens.

You can't stage your life...but your life is a stage. 

Action. 

Random Red Thoughts

"...random thoughts, an overflow of gazing at the unseen." 

Love that quote from Michael Bassey Johnson, a brilliant writer and poet. 

Random thoughts give you permission to daydream a bit.  Experience a Walter Mitty moment every once in a while. Just gaze at the unseen and see what happens. 

I tip my glass in the direction of randomness.  

A good bartender is just as valuable as a good doctor or lawyer. 

Sometimes, you just need to go and have sex with your wife in a hotel. 

I am envious of people born on February 29th but feel bad for those who lost someone on that same day. 

February really is a long month despite the actual number of days. 

Sunrise or sunset?  I can't choose. 

You are never too old to hug. 

Everyone should have five go-to restaurants; Italian, Bar-be-que, Hole in the Wall, Steak joint, and Mexican. 

It really does feel good being nice. 

There is no better bite than the first bite of buttered toast dipped into the yoke of a sunny-side-up egg. 

Light a fire in a real fireplace...often. 

I don't want to live past 90. 

Stemmed wine glasses for dinner.  Stem-less for lunch or happy hour. 

Cheers to randomness. 

'Clink'