What, Me Worry?

 

My alarm is set for 5:30 am every weekday (my cat doesn't distinguish weekdays v. weekends so he gets me up around 5:30 on the weekends too). 

It is a glorious feeling to actually sleep until the alarm hits.  

Most nights, it happens. 

Some nights, it doesn't.  Inevitably, something has ruined my REM around 3am.  It could be a bathroom call, a nightmare, or my cat.  What usually happens next is that my lizard brain activates. 

The lizard brain or the Limbic System, (it's called the lizard brain because the limbic system is about all a lizard has for a brain function) is the seat of emotion, mood, and lots of other mental and emotional processes. 

For all of us, the lizard brain is irrational and non-logical.  It tends to focus on possible outcomes of impossible situations; things outside of our control. 

I can guarantee the situation that the lizard brain is obsessing about at 3am will look a lot better in the bright of day.  There is almost nothing that can be done at 3am (especially since you haven't had your coffee or other caffeination yet). Go back to bed.  Attack the problem in the morning. 

Make that alarm do its job you paid it to do (it has one job!). 

Happenchance

 

Did you ever see the movie "Magnolia?" 

The movie starts out with the narrator telling us about several "random" individual incidents that really aren't random after all.  

In the New York Herald, November 26, the year 1911, there is an account of the hanging of three men. They died for the murder of Sir Edmund William Godfrey, Husband, Father, Pharmacist, and all-around gentle-man resident of Greenberry Hill, London. He was murdered by three vagrants whose motive was simple robbery. They were identified as Joseph Green, Stanley Berry, and Daniel Hill. Green, Berry, Hill. And I Would Like To Think This Was Only A Matter Of Chance.

As I sat at the bar last night sipping on my martini (shaken, not stirred), a memory of a happenchance meeting jolted me into the past.  One night, long ago, at this very bar, I was sitting reading a book by myself when a woman sitting at the bar with friends noticed me and called me over.  We ended up talking through the night and remain friends to this day.  

When we look at individual moments, in the here and now, all seem unconnected but when we look at the woven fabric of our lives, there is a certain connectivity to it all. One thread leads to another. 

The perceived randomness of the universe may not be as random as we would like to think. 

...it is in the humble opinion of this narrator that this is not just “Something That Happened.” This cannot be “One of those things…

More often than not, one of those things, is part of something much bigger. 

It happens all of the time. 

Happenchance?  Not a chance. 

Damn

 

Damn. 

Ever been in that "damned if you do, damned if you don't" types of situation? 

Of course, you have. 

It's a human condition. Somewhere, buried deep with the Lost Ark and the Holy Grail, are the rules of being human and this is somewhere between 23 and 48 on the list. 

I have taken a path and ended up in a certain place.  I have taken the direct opposite path and, lo and behold, have ended up in the exact same damn place.  

When you find yourself in this situation, there is only one course of action; throw your hands up and say..."f--k it."  It is what it is.  

One thing to note though, sometimes you do this and you aren't necessarily damned.  Sometimes, you go East-West on something and it actually turns out OK. 

Don't overthink it.  Like I said, somewhere between 23 and 48.  It's like 35 or 36.  

By the way, I'd choose to do rather than not do. Almost always. 

Damn straight. 

What's Your Recipe?

 

Who are you? 

I am not talking about some ethereal, cosmic description of who you are.  I am talking about the ingredients that create the recipe masterpiece that is you. 

Where did these ingredients come from?  Who influenced you? 

The real-life people in your life, who you know, who have shaped who you are.  The real-life people who you don't know but who you can relate to.  And, the fictitious characters who you have gotten to know through pop culture, who you can see yourself in their reflections. 

The easy, off the top of your head answers, are family members and friends. Dig deeper.  Who gave you your ingredients? 

Here's my list and why they made it...

My Dad - His ability to love, connect and care. 

My Mom - Keeping things grounded. 

Cindy Leighton - Getting me into radio. 

Pat Ryan - My theater TA who told me that natural talent only goes so far. 

Alan Watts - For looking at life as not a journey with a destination but a song to dance to. 

Jack Kerouac - Giving meaning to "the road." 

Ernest Hemingway - Adventurist. 

Robert Frost - Making words come alive. 

Ernest Shackleton - To explore without fear (his whisky is a close second). 

Doug Coughlin - Psychology at the bar. 

Tony Stark - Strength with insecurities (genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist all are in there as well). 

Don Draper - The art of advertising. 

Walter Mitty - To dream. 

Kenny Chesney - To remember what it's like to take your shoes off. 

Coach Eric Taylor - To coach a team to realize their full potential. 

And finally, my wife...who I have found...has a little bit of everyone else. 

What's cookin' with you? 

 

Some Guy in Plesantville

 

Did you see the movie "Pleasantville?" 

How about "Free Guy?" 

Both are excellent movies with original storylines, brilliant writing, and thespian-like acting. 

One character is trapped in a black and white world and the other is trapped being a non-player character (NPC) in a video game.  Both realize something is wrong.  Both realize something is missing. Both struggle to find the answers. 

Both breakthrough to the other side of their respective worlds though. Both take risks.  Blow up comfort zones.  Break societal constraints. 

Life does imitate art and vice versa. 

In life, there are times when you need to breakthrough.  Take the road less traveled. Leave your comfort zone in the rearview mirror. 

Life is not planned out for us.  It's ad-libbed.  Live it the best way you can all the way through the closing credits and don't be afraid to go off-script. 

"It's not supposed to be like this."  "It's not supposed to be anything." 

"Life doesn't have to be something that just happens to us." 

And...scene. That's a take. 

You Don't Suck

 

Ever have one of those hours?  One of those days?  Weeks?  Months?  

You know the ones.  Where it seems you are constantly on the downward swoop of the roller coaster...wondering when it's going to come back up. When the husky kid is doing the teeter-totter with you and you are always struggling to get off the ground.  

A wise woman (my wife) likes to say a phrase that hits home during times like that.   

"You don't suck." 

She is a woman of few words, super smart, and incredibly insightful.

To "suck" at something, inherently means you don't have the potential to get better.  Suckage seems like a lifetime sentence.  No one says "you suck today", or "I'm sucking this hour." 

To tell someone or to feel it yourself, that suckage isn't present, is a pardon, baby. 

So the next time things look bleak, look for that one bright spot that reaffirms...you don't suck.  

Another wise person once said, "to suck or not to suck...that is the question (okay, he may not have said that but you know what I mean)." 

So remember...

You don't suck.  

Truly.  

Happy Birthday Dad!

 

Happy Birthday, Dad!

Even though I can't give you a present today Dad, I celebrate You because the "presents" you have given me have lasted a lifetime. So in honor of you, I want to share your presents with everyone.   

For lack of a better term, I present "Cos-isms" for us all. 

"Always smile, Joe-Joe. Smile and the world will smile with you...frown and you are alone." 

No matter where you are, what's going on in your life, how broke you are, or what's happened to you, you can always smile.  Always. Dad never didn't carry a smile. Never. 

"Always take a chance on yourself." 

Dad got let go from his Sporting Good Sales position when he was in his '50s because they wanted to go in a "different direction" (it was obvious that was code for going younger). Dad had two choices; one was taking a position with an established company, the other was going into business for himself.  He chose the latter.  It didn't work out and years later he thought about whether or not he regretted it.  He came to the conclusion, he'd rather take a chance on himself than someone else. 

"Always look for the good." 

Dad was an immigrant who couldn't speak English when he first moved here (he was actually held back in school because of it) and had several lemons thrown his way but always looked for the good. He fought in a war, played JV football at the University of Wisconsin-Madison, ran for Homecoming Dorm Duke, created two successful careers for himself, married the love of his life, and was a father for 4 kids who he loved dearly. 

"No matter who comes into your life, always treat them well." 

At Dad's funeral, an elderly lady came up to me (I am the youngest so I happened to be at the end of the greeting line).  She asked if I was Cos' son.  I told her yes and she said "I have a story to tell."  Hollywood couldn't have written the storyline I was told.  

Apparently, her husband died in the war at an early age and she had a young son.  My Dad was coaching baseball at the time and this woman's son started hanging around the ballpark.  My Dad noticed him and made him an honorary Team Manager.  This young boy was a part of every practice and game and Dad bought him his first baseball glove. This young boy turned into a decorated General in the Armed Forces and years later had dinner with his mom and told her that Dad was one of the most influential people in his life. 

There are many more to share and I would be happy to over a beer (or wine) but these are the ones that will always stick. 

So, to Dad, I raise a glass to you.  Thank you.  I love you.  And, Happy Birthday! 

Salute!