It's all about the mix

Every relationship you have in life has two important elements to it...

Whether it be husband/wife, boss/employee, coach/player, etc.

You need both to make the relationship work...but the key is how much of one do you have compared to the other.


One is logical, objective and structural in nature. The titles you hold in this relationship, define your role.

The titles define the rules.

You feel obligation, responsibility and a commitment to the long term vision.

The other is emotional, subjective and relational in nature. Regardless of the titles you hold in the relationship, your feelings for the other person define your role.

The titles defy the rules.

You feel passion, spontaneity and a commitment to the short term vision.

Again...both are needed.

And when you are dealing with the human element of relationships...just a little bit one way or another can make a huge difference.

If you are too much on either side...the teeter totter tips.

Look, you can get to 100 several different ways but if one is 50 and the other is 50...your math will equal far greater than 100.

That's the mathematics of the human element at work.

Kevin Arnold is the Shit

Change is never easy. You fight to hold on. You fight to let go.

Recently...during a night of insomnia...while flipping through the channels...I bumped into Kevin Arnold again. It was good to see him.

I had forgotten how good "The Wonder Years" was. It was a brilliant portrayal of youth and retrospect with age through the acting of Fred Savage and the narration of Daniel Stern.


It made me think of lots of things...

We are so vulnerable...yet so willing to take risks during our youth.

We are at our creative peak during our youth because everything is possible.

We are innocent during our youth.

We love with all of our heart.

All our young lives we search for someone to love, someone who makes us complete. We choose partners and change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak and hope all the while wondering if somewhere and somehow there is someone searching for us.

We invest so much into what we are working on because it means so much to us at the time.

The problem is we lose so much of the gift that was given to us while we were young.

I'm young. I live in a house my father owns, in a bed my father bought..Nothing is mine..except my heart and my fears and my growing knowledge that not every road is gonna lead home anymore.

We become cynical.

We no longer think of the impossible.

We get tired.

We don't do childlike things because we aren't supposed to.

We don't play.

We let others decide who and what we need to be rather than being real with who we are.

We don't believe anymore. It's like in the movie "Polar Express"...we don't hear the wonderful jingle of the bell.

When we are young, we are always looking forward with great anticipation. As we age, we start to look backward with great regret.

As you age...

Keep dreaming
Keep being silly
Keep dancing and singing even when others don't hear the music
Keep laughing
Keep playing
Keep thinking the impossible is possible.
Keep the light burning

If you do...the mid-life crisis becomes the mid-life celebration.

They say hindsight is 20/20, and I guess that's true; because standing there that night everything became so clear.

Kevin Arnold knew what is he was talking about.

We all did.

Have a Great Summer

When was the last time you pulled out a yearbook from school and read some of the things people wrote?

Every entry speaks of one specific memory.

Every entry speaks of a friendship bond that will never be broken.

Every entry speaks of staying in touch through the summer.

And every entry speaks of creating more memories.



If only we could remember these lessons as we get older...


Cherish the memories.

Make every friendship as deep as possible.

Always try and reach out to stay connected.

And...strive to make more memories.


Pretty simple...isn't it.

Have a Great Summer!

Need a light?

Ever need a spark?

Creative juices running low?

If so...try some of these to light or re-light your fire.

All of them work for me. Depends on the mood, time of day and what kind of spark I need at the time...but these tend to do the trick.





Make something with legos. Matter of fact...deconstruct first and then make something completely different.

Go for a long run.

Read.

Doodle.

Lie on your back and stare at the clouds.

Draw (which is an advanced version of doodling).

Sing in the shower.

Write words...not sentences.

Workout.

Try yoga.

Do a puzzle.

Shoot hoops by yourself.

Go for a walk.

Listen to music.

Drink coffee.

Drink wine.

Play with your kids.

Go out on a date (it's even cooler if you sit at the bar).

Talk to a bartender.

Sit in complete silence for five minutes.


Want to try something really crazy? Try all of these in one day. I promise there would be enough of a spark to light every cigarette ever smoked in one season of Mad Men!

Now go ahead and light your fire. Jim Morrison would be proud.

Long Time no Talk

Went back to Michigan this past week for work. Had a chance to reconnect with some old friends.

Got me thinking about when was the last time I reconnected with myself.

Part of that is this blog.

Been doing a lot of writing lately...but very little for my own pleasure.





If you are like me and you feel like you have been running in the hamster wheel for awhile...take time to reconnect with yourself. Do something that brings you back. Once you know where you are...you know where you need to go.

Long time no talk. How have you been?

Edison or da Vinci

Do you want to "think better" or do you want to "think different?"

Thinking better is solution based.
Thinking different is idea based.

Thinking better produces things.
Thinking different creates things.

Thinking better requires a trial and error mentality.
Thinking different requires an error and trial mentality.


Thinking better requires experience.
Thinking different requires experiences.

Thinking better means to learn from our mistakes.
Thinking different means to make mistakes so we can learn.

Thinking better requires brainstorming.
Thinking different requires stormy brains.

Thinking better affects the bottom line.
Thinking different affects the top line.

Guess what?

Can't have one without the other.
One thinks differently to get better and one thinks better when they are different.

Making cake...and eating it too.

Yummy.

A Little Insomnia Randomness

Nothing like getting up at 3:30 to jog the brain a little...

Legos and mechanical pencils are both inherently oxymorons. Legos are full of structure and creativity all at once. Mechanical pencils imply welcoming of mistakes and perfection at the same time.

Don Draper is a lot like Tony Soprano.

In life, having balance is the great equalizer.

Plugging into people who "get it" is energizing.

Compliments never get old.

I have come to the conclusion, the mid-life crisis is very real.

To be able to plug in, one must un-plug.

When you hit your 40's...it isn't about how much you work out...it's about what you put in.

Hydrate the body...caffeinate the mind.

Telescopic or Microscopic? Both...if you can.

As we go through it, it's all about the goal. When we achieve it, it's all about the journey.

And finally...

Coffee really is a good thing...especially on mornings like this.